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My long road to recovery

Allison Greenstein

Allison Greenstein’s Story of Addiction, Substance Use

  • Perspective: Lived Experience
  • Condition: Addiction, Substance Use
  • Key Themes: Hope, Recovery
  • Audience: Healthcare Professionals, Men, Women
Allison describes her long, difficult battle with addiction and co-occurring mental health issues. After hitting rock bottom and facing repeated setbacks, she entered treatment and began the hard work of recovery. Through sustained effort, support, and accountability, Allison found stability and a renewed sense of purpose, showing that recovery is a lifelong journey worth fighting for.

I feel gratitude every day for my recovery.  I owe so much to my parents who stood by me through my entire journey with mental illness.  They supported me in every way imaginable and I would not be here without them.  Without treatment and resources, I would not be where I am today.

I was first diagnosed with major depression at age 15, after a suicide attempt.  I was hospitalized for three months in an Adolescent Psychiatric Unit.  I spent the next 25 years dealing with major bouts of depression, anxiety, anger, and suicidal ideation.  I became addicted to drugs and alcohol while trying to self-medicate.  I’ve been hospitalized six times, attended a 30 day rehabilitation center, and lived in a couple of halfway houses.  I used to pray for death every night and was disappointed when I awoke in the morning.  I was self-injuring and taking handfuls of pills regularly.

After 25 years of living with crippling depression and trying many combinations of medication, I finally tried ECT (electroconvulsive therapy).  This was a miracle treatment for me – my depression seemed to dissipate and I felt alive once again.  I never thought I could have any kind of life except one in survival mode, but now I look forward to waking up each morning.

I sit on the Public Policy Committee and the Behavioral Health Planning and Advisory Council for NAMI Colorado, and I am also a presenter for the organization’s In Our Own Voice and Ending the Silence programs.  I attend weekly support groups and am training to be a group facilitator.  I do yoga on a regular basis and work out at the YMCA.  I take my medication religiously along with seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist.

I feel gratitude every day for my recovery.  I owe so much to my parents who stood by me through my entire journey with mental illness.  They supported me in every way imaginable and I would not be here without them.  Without treatment and resources, I would not be where I am today.  My hope is to end the stigma surrounding mental illness and fight for more resources for those who are seeking treatment.  I hope one day everyone is able to feel the way I do now!

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The views and opinions expressed in the story are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Mental Health Colorado.

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